5/17/2023

“That was the worst Mother’s Day I ever had!” I said four years ago (2019) after having brunch for the first time at Back Bay Bistro in Newport Beach, Califorina. My son (then in 4th grade) said, “Well at least we know your telling us the truth mom because every year you say that’s the best Mother’s Day you ever had!” Four years ago our oldest was 15 and a high school freshman. Her and our other three kids really didn’t have anything nice to say to me during what should have been a really nice place to celebrate Mother’s Day.

Fast forward one year (2020)  and with mandatory quarantine I had the best Mother’s Day I had had! The reason it was so great in 2020 was because the same daughter who was leading the negativity pack in 2019 actually lead her other 3 siblings to put on a homemade tea party with scones, Devonshire cream,  tea sandwiches, chocolate cake and 2 flavors of macaroons. Julia our second child and daughter handled all the decorations and flowers and it was just beautiful, relaxing & amazing!

As a mostly at- home mom who has served our four children from the time they were newborns that experience really made me understand Jesus in John Chapter  21. Jesus begins by appearing to some of the disciples after his death and resurrection to first tell them which side of the boat they will be able to catch fish on. Ok I’m not Jesus knowing where the fish are that I created but I know my kids more than they know themselves most of the time. I can see clearly (oftentimes) what jobs and callings our kids will have success with if they would just listen to me. Hint hint;)  I have been observing them since they were in utero and I have some good guesses of how Jesus would like them to serve Him. Then as Jesus cooks and serves fish & bread to them for breakfast he starts asking them how they are going to serve Him & others moving forward. Yes!  We have had these conversations with our children at the dinner table!

I  still get choked up thinking about the girls putting on that first Mother’s Day Tea for me.  Our oldest really redeemed herself from the year before but  knowing my children are serving the Lord in their own unique way is really the best Mother’s Day gift I could get and the gift that keeps on giving! 

This year my husband and I did most of the work for our now annual tea party at our rented Lake house near Emily’s college.  It makes me so happy to get to spend time with her and watch her work, go to school and plan and do fun things with all her new friends. She is really growing into a young lady of God fast!  This year we got the added blessing to wakesurf for the weekend  as well as explore a part of the Lake that is usually dry land. Thanks to God for all the rain in California it looked like a fresh water Fern Grotto in Kauai with all the green trees and foliage coming down to the lake!  

Way back when (about 5 years ago prior to quarantine) we tried to host a real Passover at our local community club house with about 8-10 families.  As it ended up we were not able to do all of the rules and traditions that traditional Jewish families are accustomed to because I did not grow up Jewish and have a model of how this celebration works.  We didn’t even have a long table big enough for everyone to serve each course.  We only had two people present who did grow up Jewish at the party. One of of them is my Speech Pathology mentor and longtime friend but she had not celebrated Passover since childhood. She brought amazing Matza balls though for everyone to enjoy and we had fun just spending time together:) The other person who grew up Jewish at the party was our guitar teacher (who was about 27 at the time) and had only celebrated Passover with his  parents but had never hosted it on his own so without that experience he didn’t really know what/how to implement the traditions.  

Anyway, at the end of the party I was telling our good family friends “It didn’t go exactly how I had thought. We didn’t even have a table, ect but I think the kids were at least exposed to the Passover celebration. It was awesome cause our guitar teacher Josh told the story of the Israelites Exodus from Egypt and sang a childhood song to them with his guitar. So it  wasn’t all a Passover Celebration flunk.” Our dad friend was trying to console me a little and laughing said, “ We Christians like our bread like we like our Messiah, RISEN, anyways;)!” SO that made me feel a bit better and gave me a good laugh! Risen bread is much better tasting than unleavened bread:) Relationships with Jesus and friends over bread and wine are much better than rules/10 Commandments:) I still want to attend a real Passover Celebration/Sedar someday but in the meantime we have been having fun, getting creative and not eating leaven on Holy Thursday. We also watch the movie “The 10 Commandments” and listen to the song Exodus by Bob Marley:) 

Sarah made our homemade He is Risen! Go Bananas Bread Recipe and we froze the dough so that we can eat fresh banana bread on Easter morning! He is Risen and so is our Bread, indeed;) Luke 24:6-7

3/15/2023

Ok. So these cookies (as you can see at the end of the video) got really messed up! I went cheap and had planned to use the green part of our leftover red & green Christmas Sprinkles. Obviously the separation in the container did not work & allowed red sprinkles to mix with the green:( Anyway, they turned out looking  like Christmas Cookie Shamrock Cutouts instead of St. Paddy’s Lucky Cookies:( However, Sarah and I decided to use the video regardless because it is a long 3-step process that includes 1) Making the dough & refrigerating it, 2) Baking the cookies & 3) Frosting & decorating the cookies.

Truth be told although these are the most delicious frosted cookies (the recipe uses both lemon & vanilla extract) Ive ever had they are not my husband or I’d favorite cookies. The reason I have made a point to make them with our four children through the years is because kids absolutely love making & decorating cookie cutouts! As a Social Pathologist when I was working with preschoolers we use to make them because it was so highly motivating to  gets kids socializing and creating. I spent tons of time shopping for ingredients, letting our kids create, make messes and cleaning up our kitchen. The reward is that now-years later- two of our children now actually make us homemade pies:) These cookies are a great start for getting kids to have fun, socialize, make memories  and learn basic kitchen skills:) Our recipe is included at the end of Sarah’s YouTube Video:)

11/20/2022

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 With Thanksgiving coming up I am so thankful for my husband coaching our kids teams including flag football, baseball & soccer since 2007. It is the end of an era:( A couple of weeks ago was his last time coaching & it was also Mikey’s last flag football game:( Kids really do grow up so fast! Also, we were blessed with a family road trip pulling our new surf boat to Branson, Missouri for Mikey’s travel baseball tournament.  A few weeks ago we went to the UCLA vs UCI baseball game@ UCLA & took a walking tour of the campus.  

Most importantly, this year, I am most thankful for our family Bible study! This has been my very favorite way to “go to church.”  We were able to read Mathew, Mark, Luke, John & Acts while Emily was still living at home.  We just finished Romans Chapter 8 which I think is probably the most important chapter of the Bible. I was so bummed that Emily wasn’t there to hear & participate in our discussion:(

Back tracking a bit, about a week after we dropped Emily off to college she texted Mike (her dad & my husband) that she didn’t want to be involved in our family Bible study anymore:(. She said she wanted to focus on prayer. My heart broke a little with the thought that it was going to be the 5 of us now instead of 6 and our church was starting to lose it’s congregation:( I absolutely loved listening to her well-articulated answers when she put the time into the reading and questions.  Then I kinda got ticked off & insulted & thought I am going to FORCE HER to join us via FaceTime. I justified forcing her since we are paying for her college tuition including room & board & it isn’t cheap.  She should be obligated to us to participate I thought.   However, after a little time went by, I decided to just pray for her instead. My prayer is that she comes around to living with the Holy Spirit inside her, ON HER OWN! I can encourage her by making suggestions. This blog. Cough, Cough, Emily! But in the end, I want her making a free will choice to follow the Bible/God/Jesus/Holy Spirit & not through me or her dad or anyone else forcing her! 

As I thought about it, I became thrilled with the thought that she said she wanted to “focus on prayer!”  Afterall, with all my years of Bible reading, study & meditation I think the main action Jesus is trying to elicit through the bible is prayer. So in this week’s blog, I decided to define prayer, especially for Emily, as I understand it from my own education & past experiences.

To me, prayer is 3 things including 1) Praise to God, 2) Asking God & simultaneously believing God has answered our request, & 3) Conversation with God.

First, prayer is thankfulness to God/Jesus/Holy Spirit for all we have been given physically, spiritually & social-emotionally. Oprah has said that prayer could be as simple as thank you & that would be enough & I agree:) As many families do, in the past during Thanksgiving time, I have had our kids go around and say what they are thankful for.  As a parent, I love this more than Christmas!  Hearing all the things they are thankful for instead of what they want when they honestly don’t need much is music to my ears. We have even challenged our kids to write out 100 things they are thankful for and it is always fun to read them aloud and save them over the years. 

Second, prayer is asking for things we need/want physically, spiritually & social-emotionally, all while simultaneously believing Jesus is or has already taken care of these things.  This is still a great mystery/gift of the Holy Spirit to me.  I can tell you honestly though that I only began to understand when I started asking & believing he will provide because he almost always provides more than I can imagine and then I’m overwhelmed with thankfulness and it starts over:)

Lastly, prayer is a conversation with Jesus. I love Joyce Meyer’s book Starting/Ending Your Day Right, which I bought & gave to both Emily and Julia. Meyer talks about how, as she has grown in the spirit, prayer to Jesus has become an on-going conversation in her life. This is my goal and I have achieved it at times but not continuously in the everyday. So, recently, I have been trying to take the thoughts in my head and instead of thinking I am on my own I direct them to conversation to Jesus.  I often times  get sidetracked and thrown back into the world but I have found the more I practice this exercise the happier I am and the more peaceful life becomes.

Anyway Emily, our Thanksgiving baby, thankfulness to God is a great way to start “focusing on prayer.” Maybe write out 100 new things you’re thankful for this year & post them on your wall next to your dorm room bed.  This way you can easily pray when you go to bed or when you’re waking up slowly on the weekends.  We absolutely LOVE having you home for the Holidays- Thanksgiving, Christmas & The New Year!  We love you Emily:)

11/4/2022

We had a super FUN week with a Halloween Party, 1st Cotillion of the year, a small family Grateful Day of the Dead Party, & an Elevation Worship Concert:)

I was so happy to have Emily join us via FaceTime for our annual Grateful Day of the Dead Celebration:) I focused on talking about memories of our Nana Rachel this year since she just passed to heaven this past February 2022. Of course I welcomed all of the kids & Mike to talk about anyone on our ofrenda (or not displayed) who had passed away but our kids who are teenagers (1 preteen) pretty much just listened with a few amusing/sarcastic comments:) 

As soon as we got on FaceTime Emily said, “This is really sad.” I agreed! It is really sad. Right before I called her I almost didn’t want to go along with this tradition that we started in 2016. But then I thought I don’t want to be like typical “white culture” and not discuss our loved ones in public after the funeral. Julia said, “But you are white. I mean you are a cracker. Well you’re a spicy cracker!” And we all laughed 😂

So although I thought about not following through with the celebration, if my desire was for our kids to remember Nana Rachel (the way Mike and I remember her), I had to follow through with talking about her, cause I really have no other scheduled time that seems appropriate. In addition, Paul in his letter to the Colossians 3:2 says to set your mind on things above, not earthly things and since she is in heaven she is part of heavenly things. Anne Frank also said, “People who have a Religion should be glad, for not everyone has the gift of believing in heavenly things.”

OK there are many stories and things to remember about Nana Rachel. First off I didn’t meet her until I was 25, the year after Mike and I were married. Our relationship was not a typical grand daughter-grand mother relationship. I have had that with my real adoptive grand-parents so I know the difference of a physical relationship.

“Rach” as I like to call her was more of a very close friend & Titus mother- who happened to be blood related to me. She had 4 daughters and a son and we have 3 daughters and a son so we had a lot in common in the wife-mothering department. I happen to be blessed with the timing to meet her just before we started our own family. She had all kinds of marriage & family stories as well as wise advice that I loved to talk to her about at family parties, Santa brunches at The Huntington Club formerly Seacliff, on the phone or when I would visit her at her house or in the hospital. It was a real life Tuesday’s With Morrie only we were having a female-wife- mother-bonding experience. I told our kids we even talked about her & my biological grandfather’s sex life and they all laughed and had some funny comments that I can’t relay correctly through a blog;)

The most important part of my relationship with Rach began before I met her and has a lot to do with this blog. As I said, I am adopted and never met my biological mother’s family until I was 25. Just before my 25th bday I told Mike I wanted us to search for them and hopefully find them for my bday in mid February. For some reason Bdays were always special to me, more than just my family and friends getting together or saying Happy Birthday. I just felt really special, happy and content on my birthday and loved celebrating them.

Well, we didn’t find her for my 25th bday but the Holy Spirit brought the Clow’s into our life a little less than a month later in March 2002. The thing I found out that is most important and most related to the Bible was that Rachel (every year on my bday) would call Lori (my birth mother) and all her sisters and have everyone pray for me. All those happy, special and contented feelings I was feeling were the group prayer she was organizing & following through with.  I have had a wonderful life, of course nothing is perfect, but our whole family including Mike and our kids have been very blessed by her prayers.  We went to the #ElevationWorship Concert last night and one of my favorite songs was “The Blessing” and the song chants, “May His favor be upon you. And a thousand generations. And your family and your our children and their children and their children.”  These biblical words have been so true for me/us!   Not only that but Jesus gave me almost 20 years to have a physical relationship (in addition to our spiritual relationship) with her which was something I didn’t expect but a gift that I am eternally grateful for:)